Wednesday, January 01, 2014

A European Air

Warning: Do not look at this image for more than 5 seconds 
- It has sinister hidden hypnotic mind rays

Dear Climate Change / Anthropogenic Global Warming sceptics / denialists and Conspiracy Theorists,

Do you remember reading about Acid Rain back in the 1970s when our news was produced using an archaic medium based on materials known as paper and ink? Do you recall our modern 24/7 instant access digital media mentioning this phenomenon recently? No? Well, you may think it’s because we have dealt with the problem at continental level, prompted by the evil European Union who impose foreign laws upon us, by drastically reducing the amount of coal we burn and cleaning up the remainder. Neither did it have anything to do with Mrs Thatcher or the previous Labour Government who closed down all the coal mines. It is just a natural weather variation caused by volcanic activity in east Asia and sun spots.

Do you remember reading about the hole in the ozone layer back in 1985 when mobile phones were the size and weight of a brick? Yes? Heard anything lately? No? Well it’s still there. But it’s getting smaller and those pesky scientists with all their dodgy evidence predict it will fully repair itself by 2070. What do they know? They are all funded by big business with a vested interest agenda. Of course this has nothing to do with the European Union forcing us to ban CFCs (chlorofluorocarbon) and properly dispose of legacy appliances that used CFCs – it is merely a coincidence brought about by the natural cycles of the Moon in conjunction with Mars.

And now those damn unelected European bureaucrats are at it again, this time meddling with our air quality.
Environment: New policy package to clean up Europe's air
The human toll for poor air quality is worse than for road traffic accidents, making it the number one environmental cause of premature death in the EU. It also impacts the quality of life due to asthma or respiratory problems. The Commission is responding with new measures to reduce air pollution, adopted today. The clean air policy package updates existing legislation and further reduces harmful emissions from industry, traffic, energy plants and agriculture, with a view to reducing their impact on human health and the environment. Air pollution also causes lost working days, and high healthcare costs, with vulnerable groups such as children, asthmatics and the elderly the worst affected. It also damages ecosystems through excess nitrogen pollution (eutrophication) and acid rain. The direct costs to society from air pollution, including damage to crops and buildings, amount to about €23 billion per year. The benefits to people's health from implementing the package are around €40 billion a year, over 12 times the costs of pollution abatement, which are estimated to reach € 3.4 billion per year in 2030. Continued.
The introduction above is followed by quotes from two commissioners with foreign names and non-standard English alphabetic characters. We don’t want them coming over here and corrupting our keyboards now do we? We need sensible common sense limits on the importation of foreign characters. Those that are prepared to work hard and contribute like π are square and welcome but we must Ω those that just want to freeload on our capacitance. That is the prerogative of our indigenous alphabet.


  1. Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

    1. Psychotic Features of Bipolar Disorder
      Psychiatrists use the term paranoia to describe a disordered way of thinking or an anxious state that attains the level of a delusion. For example, a person who believes the FBI is tracking her every move through the fillings in her teeth is exhibiting paranoid behavior. On the other hand, a criminal who believes the FBI is listening in on his telephone calls is not likely paranoid, because it may well be true.
      The key to true paranoia is that the person exhibits an unreasonable and/or exaggerated mistrust and suspicion of others. This suspicion is not based on fact and often grows into delusions. Thus, paranoia is a symptom that can be part of several syndromes, including delusional disorder, paranoid personality disorder, psychotic and mood disorders (including bipolar disorder and schizophrenia), as well as other conditions.