Monday, November 05, 2012

Odd Socks, Movember and Man-Flu

Never mind odd socks, I know a chap who turned up for work in odd shoes! But what is it with odd socks? Where do they all go? Is there an odd sock mountain somewhere to compensate for all the leftover odd socks that get sent to landfill? I don’t know, and I don’t often do this, but here is one of those odd PR emails that catch my attention. It’s advertising I know but it’s also got a catch and I like the logo which is current as it is Movember; and they are working on the world's largest survey to find out what happens to missing socks - something that the science community has so far failed to do. Mind you they can't predict volcano eruptions, earthquakes or tsunamis either so what do they know?

The Shocking Truth Of The Psychological Effects Of Socks

You may not know it, but the colour of your socks leaves a lasting effect on everybody you meet. At work, in public, in relationships - the crucial first impression left by an ill-advised sock purchase could affect your everyday life.

Socked has conducted new research that explains just what your socks say about you, and concludes that a considered choice of sock will put you streets ahead of the crowd.

Mark Hall, Gentleman Creation Officer at socked said: "Colours are used to help create your persona, your desired image; and wearing a particular colour of socks will influence the way others relate to you. Pick the right colour, and you're already winning. Pick the wrong colour, and you could just come across in the wrong way. Our research shows that the only colour a gentleman should wear on his feet is black. Don't take chances with the wrong coloured socks."

What do your socks say about you?

Black Worn by: Gentlemen. Well-dressed villains

The classic black speaks authority, power, sophistication and mystery. Stylish and timeless, black socks remain the first and only choice for the gentleman around town.

White Worn by: Eighties throwbacks. Commercial radio DJs
While usually portrays innocence and purity, in a sock it is a mortal sin, especially when worn with open-toed sandals. White socks are also the tell-tale sign of the gym-goer too lazy to get changed after a work-out. Avoid white-sockers - they are up to no good.

Grey Worn by: Bankers. Vicars
Neither black nor white, neither here nor there, grey socks portray a dull life built on compromise, boredom and poor laundry skills. You may put your trust a man in grey socks, but could live to regret it.

Red Worn by: Would-be Casanovas. Politicians
Confrontational, emotionally intense, and quick to anger. Red cars are the most popular choice of stolen car, red socks are not.

Yellow Worn by: Attention-seekers. The office joker
When he's not wearing his Homer Simpson socks, the joker thinks yellow socks are cool. The most difficult colour for the eye to take in, people in yellow socks get inadvertently kicked in the shins more than any social group.

Brown Worn by: Gardeners. Librarians (male and female)
Good, solid and reliable people, brown betrays a serious down-to-earth personality that is quite happy to sit in the background like a wallflower. There is probably a brown-socker within ten feet of you now, and you haven't noticed.

Blue Worn by: Traffic wardens. Doctors
Blue projects an image of success and security. High street store signs are often blue, as this tells the consumer they are a dynamic, growing brand. You can certainly trust a blue sock wearer with your life, but with the nagging doubt that they don't quite have the confidence to wear black.

Gold Worn by: Lottery winners. Premier League footballers
Gold signifies success, achievement and extravagant triumph, yet is entirely impractical in everyday footwear. A sign of conspicuous consumption, no true gentleman – whatever his wealth – would flaunt his bank balance with so little class.

Day-Glo Worn by: Cyclists, Nobody over the age of eleven
'See and be seen' we say, and we are all for cyclists wearing fluorescent colours as part of their everyday bike kit, providing they change into something less eye-catching the moment they reach their destination.

Odd socks Worn by: People who dress in the dark. Derelicts, curs and ruffians
The odd sock wearer is an emotionally unstable, attention-seeking wastrel. The only cure for odd socks is to burn the lot and start from scratch.

Socked, launched in August 2012, is a UK company based in Leeds that aims to rid the world of odd socks and to make the world a better place but has a blind spot for the colour Green, especially in socks.

Socked has also conducted research into a cure for man flu - if one has survived man flu, then they are able to download a free man flu survivor certificate.

Note: Barkingside 21 does not endorse the above company nor accept any responsibility for the quality of their merchandise.... but if you're stuck for that Christmas gift and give them a try, do let us know.


  1. "A man is about thirty-eight before he stockpiles enough socks to guarantee a matching pair" (Merrily Harpur 1948).

  2. Odd coincidence, your comment about socks and predicting volcanic eruptions:

    True story - the son of an old friend was (and is)an extremely clever chap academically, from his mid-teens always deliberately wore odd socks and is now a world-renowned geologist and earthquake specialist!

    1. Our chairman was spotted wearing odd socks at a recent B21 coffee morning ...

      So, does that make him a derelict, a cur or a ruffian?

    2. You are hereby authorised to arrange a secret ballot at the next coffee morning ... we should be told!