Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Bells, The Bells

Not content with disrupting my bio-rhythms and sleep patterns by changing the clocks (double checks spelling) in March and October, Redbridge Council will be collecting my rubbish and recycling one hour earlier from next week for the duration of that event in Stratfield which I’m not allowed to mention for fear of the Brand Police waking me up in the early hours.

Of course they have already tried, and failed, to wake me up early last Sunday for some sort of tobacco lighting relay. I woke at 6am as usual, turned over and went straignt back to sleep as usual. But now they are trying to do it again this Friday morning at 08:12 hours and with the collusion of a supposedly good friend, namely Ron B Jeffries; who was recently complaining about excessive noise emanating from a Stone structure on Fairlop Waters and now wants to create another load of noise from a different stone structure by the name of St Peter’s. There’s some sort of bell ringing contest going on and I believe it is called Campanology. He writes:

So far we have 13 people who are coming to the church (St Peters) at 08.12 for the bell ringing on Friday next. Three have promised to bring cow bells, one will attend on her bicycle ringing her bell. One lady will be en route for a wedding in Belfast - but will ring her mobile on the M11 on her journey to Gatwick. But we can do better than this! So please talk to your friends and urge them to join us.

Posters have been placed strategically at St. Peter's and in my front garden. My thanks to Simon Smith for his help in putting the name of the church on the posters, but do not mention the Olympics to Nicholas for he is liable to go slightly berserk if you do - as I discovered to my cost on Monday, but we both got over it!

Regards - and may all your bells ring out clearly on Friday at 08.12.
Fortunately I do not live close to St Peter’s but I do live a few doors down from the local Church, St Cedds. I do not know if they are participating in this “event” but if they are I shall be straight on to the Council’s Noise Pollution Team. If making a racket at 3am coming out of a Night club is considered Anti-Social Behaviour, then so is waking people up at 8am when they don’t want to be. Ron says I’m “an old spoil sport and Up Team GB” but I’m just my usual self …

The Devil’s Advocate.


  1. Bell ringing contest? Have you been watching Twenty Twelve and the Big Bong?

  2. Enjoying the Oxxxpic cynicism!

  3. So far we have 18 listed to attend to Friday morning.

    The Revd Kate Lovesey will be in attendance - and I am sure The Revd Lovesey will be available to offer counselling to anyone who feels the strain of rising at that time of the day (but not you, Marmaduke!).

    Please do not attend in your pyjamas for it is not that kind of party. Please dress appropriately, bearing in mind that photographs have been requested (to date) by the ILFORD RECORDER, the YELLOW ADVERTISER and the DIOCESE of CHELMSFORD - no leotards, strapless swimming costumes or mini-skirts ( and that includes you, Henry!)

    Please arrive by 08.00 hours (that is 8am to those of you have yet to catch up with this Continental method of time telling).

    One lucky soul will be delegated to ring the bell in the Vicar's Vestry whilst the rest of the assemblage will be marshalled on the pathway near the rose garden to have a photograph taken with the church tower and bell in the background.

    So far we have at least two bicycles with bells, three sets of cow bells, one set of Christmas jungle bells, one mobile phone with a bell ring and (possibly) a set of Morris Dancer Bells (if Martyn can find where he has stored them!).

    Please act with decorum at all times.

    We have copied this message to the Aldborough Community Police (always a good idea to have the police of our side), the local media and come Redbridge Council Officials (who are welcome to join us if they are so minded).

    Take care - and if there are others who wish to join us, please assemble at 08.00 hours in the churchyard.

    And that included JOhn Sharrock and Alan Howe - the may have a problem rising at that time of day - but do try, Alan!

    Ron Jeffries
    All the Bells Co-ordinator for Aldborough Hatch (Self-appointed)

  4. Nobody seems to be blaming Martin Creed for all this nonsense. He is the former Turner Prize winning "artist" who was commissioned to come up with some idea to mark the Olympic Games. This is it. He gets the money while everyone else who bongs, jingles and tinkles, gets the raspberry as far as sleepy heads are concerned.

  5. Well, I don't know how well Ding Dong Ron's party went off but we didn't hear any of it just a mile away. In, fact, by the time 08.15 had been and gone, we realised that nobody within earshot in this part of the borough was in any way in support of this circus.

    It isn't as if we wouldn't have heard them - after listening to the eight o'clock news on local radio (all about the bloody olympic farce, of course) followed by "and now for the Sports News ..." we decided enough was enough and even the pigeons kept quiet.

    Mrs Knowsie is of the opinion that some 'unt in the government has issued an order to all broadcasters that they must really hype up this fiasco or their licences will be forfeit.

    I can't help thinking that she may be right ...

  6. this farce will be ringing plenty of bells for everyone(sorry most)who will be paying for it with the tax rises/spending cuts i predict we will be seeing in the years to come to pay for this corporate for corporate show.......

  7. We live about a quarter of a mile (sorry, four tenths of a kilometre) away from the Barnardo church, half that distance from the high street and right on top of our front door bell. 08.12 am this morning? Absolute silence! Not a bong, tinkle or ding dong in earshot. And THIS is what I stayed up all night for? (NOT likely!).

    I think it proves that Boris and Co. are not the deities they have pretensions to be.

    Rollon September.

  8. A question for Ding Dong Ron:

    What on earth (or in the belfry, if you prefer) was the significance of 12 minutes past eight on Friday morning ...?

    If we suspend reality for a minute, I can see some significance in doing it 12 hours later, when it would be 20:12 - 2012, geddit?

    So, did you get the time wrong ...?

  9. Right! Enough is enough! Some 30 folk turned up at St. Peter's where we rang the 150 year old church bell and various cow bells, hand bells and bicycle bells. I took photographs fronm the top of a step ladder - and we enjoyed it! Yesterday we went with our 11-year-old grandson to the cable car and Westfield - and a few minutes ago a kind friend offered us two Day Pass Tickets to the Olympic Park for tomorrow - so Marlon and I will be there. It is fun if you are prepared to enjoy it - and at 79 I am!

    1. We all wish you and Marlon a pleasant day out tomorrow. Just don't send email asking to be bailed if arrested for wearing Nike trainers, drinking a Pepsi or trying to use a Mastercard.

    2. Well, Ding Dong Ron has had plenty of time to hone his diversionary skills but the question still remains:

      What was the significance of 12 minutes past eight on a Friday morning ...?

      I doubt the answer is to be found in the Olympic Park ...

  10. I do know 'moaning' in an Olympic Sport but I hope that the champions in that skill have not silenced Ron Jeffries for good!
    I like his contributions.

    1. Anne, I think the reason for his silence is he is having trouble finding an answer to the question:

      "What was the significance of 12 minutes past eight on a Friday morning ...?"