Saturday, April 01, 2017

Redbridge Council to produce 2018 Nude Calendar

Redbridge Council’s new Chief Entrepreneur has now settled into his hot desk in the kiosk outside Lynton House and his first new initiative is to raise some much needed funding for the council by producing a 2018 Nude calendar featuring members of the Redbridge Cabinet.

All very discreet and tasteful you understand with no untidy bits on show and taken at strategic locations around the borough to also depict the variety of Life in Redbridge. Although the details remain sketchy we understand that one will be a woman with a sword emerging from the Valentines Park boating lake and another will be of a man with a flute dancing across Wanstead Flats and leading all the rats out of the borough.

A spokeswoman said: “we expect these calendars to sell like hot cakes and it’s a good way for the council to connect with the local community as nobody reads Redbridge Life or our website”.

“The calendar will also depict the work of the council in an innovative and creative way that is both eye-catching and meaningful to the observer”. “Let’s face it”, she said: “Nobody knows who our cabinet members are and this is a good way of raising their profile and enhancing their CVs ahead of May 2018”.

An opposition spokesman said: “I've heard some daft ideas from this lot but they really get the booby prize for this one. It's just a cheek."

Rumours that Poster Boy, Wes Streeting, would be featured flashing his "Star Wars" Light Sabre were quickly denied by a recorded message via option 8 on his telephone line saying “it’s a bare faced lie, Mr Streeting is far too busy being measured at the Emperor's tailors far far away in Westminster”. But regulars at the Fairlop Oak toasted the idea with a hearty “bottoms up”.

Meanwhile the new Head of Change has started the process of counting all the coins collected via the council begging bowls (otherwise known as parking meters) scattered around the borough.

4 comments:

  1. Hooray. It's about time those fat cats did something to take the strain off overburdened Council Tax payers after putting up our bills this year. I'll certainly be buying a calendar for my garden shed.

    But their are twelve months and only nine cabinet members. Will we have some of them on two months? Or will the lower echelons be "brought into the picture", so to speak? In the absence of Wes Streeting being featured might the regulars at the Fairlop Oak instead be asked to bid for the original photo of the Chair of Licensing posing with an empty bottle of Socialist Champagne?

    I'd certainly open the bidding for that!

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  2. April fool to you too

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  3. Maybe barkingside 21 can produce a nude calendar next year, on 1st of April, featuring the Chairman and the B21 committee.

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