Friday, January 25, 2013

New Style Public Toilets for Redbridge

Following on from the previous post about how our council are looking at ways of providing public services more efficiently and at lower cost, our mole at the Town Hall has revealed the latest design proposals for Public Toilets to be installed across the borough during the next financial crisis year.

These cutting edge facilities are at the forefront of modern technology, are fully sustainable, use the latest composting techniques and are constructed using FSC certified timber. In line with current local development protocol the opportunity has been taken to provide a fully functional high rise, multi-occupancy facility to minimse the footprint and environmental impact on the local landscape.

The council are proud that this scheme will also provide much needed local employment opportunties in the build, installation and maintenance operations for people living in similar constructions in back gardens and have committed to pay these shirkers workers the minimum wage which will give a further much needed boost to the local economy.

The strivers designers, Flush Consultancy, were not available for comment, having last been seen with a wheelbarrow full of cash heading for Heathrow and a flight to the Cayman Islands. Their Head Office at U-Bend House, Ballcock Street WC1 also seems to have been vacated. Senior council officers have also, apparently, been tied up all day at meetings with their accountants.

However, we have been able to contact local independent Councillor Harold Moth who expects one of these conveniences to be available in Barkingside High Street opposite the Library in early April as the first tangible deliverable of the Better Barkingside project.

9 comments:

  1. Appears to be a very symbolic erection.

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  2. The designers forgot to install a disabled access lift, politicians can't be expected to know how to use a ladder properly without a week long H&S training session.

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    1. Sorry to contradict you Martin. In my experience many politicians are very accomplished at climbing, be it ladders or greasy poles. Some are even very able at pushing competitors out of the way.

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  3. I'm disorientated. Is it April Fool's Day already?

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    1. Perhaps not April Fool's day, but a tongue-in-cheek pop at elected officials. I had seen this before, but had hoped it was a University Challenge style "they're not really above the other team" thing.

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    2. They're not abovew anybody. A few of them just think they are.

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  4. Well, it is certainly designed to make it easier for politicians to defecate on the electorate ...

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    1. Many of them are quite able to do that without assistance.

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  5. Dear Anonymous,
    Whilst there are undoubtedly some readers who would empathize with your comment I'm afraid it contravenes the comments policy of this blog, so I can't publish it - Sorry!

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